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Friday, May 24, 2013

on not knowing...

if it's a boy or girl.

A few weeks ago, I was with a friend who asked in a very matter-of-fact way how was feeling about not knowing if we're having a boy or girl. I loved her non-judgmental and loving way of asking.

So many people look at me like I'm crazy when they ask if it's a boy or girl and I say "I don't know." It is refreshing when someone praises the decision or genuinely inquires.

Our due date is six weeks from today and I have certainly thought it would be so much easier to know if I'll be looking for headbands (for a girl) or caps (for a boy). But I am grateful we made the decision to wait to find out when we meet the little one face-to-face.

Sure, it's hard and as the date gets closer I find it somewhat more challenging. I did buy two newborn outfits and will wash both of them and pack them in my hospital bag. I am not against dressing a girl in pink (though I think my girly taste is pretty tame) or anything like that.

The reasons we have chosen to wait have to do primarily with practicality.
  • We will be able to re-use a lot of items with the next baby (i.e. we won't have a pink baby bath) 
  • It delays gender stereotyping
  • We want to wait to name the baby when we see it face to face
  • I still get to do some shopping once the little one arrives
  • How many surprises are left in life? I like being a little counter-cultural and being the one who doesn't know
So many people ask how we can stand it or say "I could never do that, I'm too much of a planner." I find such comments funny because I'm a total planner and as much as it can be annoying to not know (buying things online is the hardest for me), I love looking forward to the surprise. I think it will also be a nice distraction in labor. 

Can you imagine not knowing or have you done so before?


  1. We were surprised both times, and I LOVED it! It is indeed a nice thing to look forward to at the end of labor! And it's awesome to hear, "It's a...!" and be surprised! I wouldn't have it any other way! Just make sure you tell EVERYONE you encounter at the hospital that you are being surprised...they do ultrasounds to check on the baby's position, and you don't want anyone to spill the beans.

  2. I'm so inspired. Someday I want to not know! I want a gender neutral nursery and lots of gray baby clothes :) I feel like its 9 month opportunity to be reminded that God is our ultimate planner

  3. I love it when people want to keep it a surprise! When we have a baby I want to wait, but Steven said he wants to know... we'll see who wins out when we get there! :)

  4. Your reasons makes perfect sense. I never considered waiting to find out what the gender of my child was when I was pregnant. In fact I think I was anxious to just find out. I think it was my controlling tendency! lol. to be honest now that I think about it waiting would have been fine considering that all the stuff I purchased were unisex items any way ha! Any how congratulations and regardless whether you have a little girl or boy I'm sure he or she will be loved very much :)

  5. We were surprised by our first! I loved getting all the yellow and green clothing and decorating with neutral bedding. And when our daughter came 20 months later it wasn't a big adjustment :) I did take a blue cap and a pink cap to the hospital.

  6. I didn't find out with any of our four. It is what it is, and is such a blessing.

  7. We were surprised with both of our boys. I admit at the end I was going crazy and JUST. WANTED. TO. KNOW. I go back and forth with wanting to find out when (Lord willing) we have our third. It is nice that we have the gender neutral basics. I remember when our first son was born, we were out to Target days after he was born because I REALLY wanted him to have some boy clothes!

    There aren't many surprises in life, and childbirth can be quite the ride. With my 2nd, he came very fast, so it was a wonderful surprise after not being able to get any pain meds!


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