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Monday, March 11, 2013

grace in marriage

Last week, a friend insisted on taking our photo after church. She kept saying how we looked so good together and I was all for it (it can be a challenge to get the Mr. in front of the camera by my side). I was also thrilled she wanted to "include the belly" in the photos, even prompting him to place his hand on my stomach. Wasn't he a good sport?

Marriage seems to have seasons. Right now, we're in a go-go-go season it seems. He juggles a 32 hour per week job, a full load of graduate courses and a part-time church internship. I have one full-time job that requires me to work some evenings/weekends and travel at least once per semester.

As we anticipate bringing this baby into the world, I wonder how we'll do it. Changes to our habits will have to happen. I am going to keep working and we'll need child care at least three days/week. I could wind myself into a mess just trying to figure out exactly how it will play out.

But just as I learned in my single days, you cannot plan every detail. Worry is not going to win. As much as I want to get all our ducks in a row and reply "yes, we have a pediatrician picked out" when people ask, the reality is that it will come together in time. I cannot add a single day to my life by worrying. As long as we're making strides in the same direction, I believe all those details that could drive me crazy and keep me up at night will be settled.

Recently, I was thinking about the word of the year I chose, I am struck by how grace plays out in so many circumstances. I catch myself wanting to be harsh or play by the rules, yet drawn to offer grace. I can't say it's my natural reaction, but I find myself more and more aware of ways I can give grace to others.

I also find myself in need of my husband's grace as I overbook my schedule by committing to one more thing. What's more, I must seek forgiveness when I make mistakes. We strive to balance our schedules. I spend time on the things I want to do when he is studying and then making the most of together time by reducing distractions of technology (cell phone, iPad, etc).

We've started talking about how much we look at our phones and how much time we spend on the computer since we don't want our kids to grow up while we're glued to a screen. I think we'll have many more discussions on that idea, but for now it needs to be less about the time we spend online and more about time with one another.

Do you struggle more to extend grace to others or to yourself?


  1. I think the whole face to face connection is definitely something I'll want to work on when we start a family. It's scary to think about how much technology raises kids now a days and although I'll always love blogging, I want them to remember me as a Mom, not a blogger! :)

  2. I feel like we're in a go-go-go season too, but we've really tried to limit screen time when we're both home and together. We'll schedule it out.. like an hour for me to blog, an hour for him to dink around and read sports articles. Then the rest of the night, we focus on each other.

    But grace, is needed, because we will and do fail.


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