Monday, January 14, 2013
What's in store for 2013?
I have a confession: I have been resisting a word of the year. The past two years I've been blogging, I chose a word of the year. In 2011, it was give and 2012 it was ready. But I can't say either year was defined by the word I chose. I tried to be conscious of those words and that probably lasted until February or so. Honestly, I did a poor job of revisiting throughout the year.
I am being more cautious in choosing a word for 2013. How do I choose a word for the year that is on course to change my life forever: I will become a parent, a mother? And that in it of itself feels like the biggest undertaking I have ever embarked on.
I feel that if I choose a word for the year, it will either be one I can't live up to or one that's just not big enough. Because I have a feeling parenthood is going to be more than I can imagine. I keep telling myself I'm ready and excited to enter this next stage of life, yet there is a piece of me that is scared out of my mind! I catch myself thinking, what on earth have we done?! It's all so irreversible, which adds to the beauty and excitement I feel when I hear the word, parenthood.
I was watching one of my all time favorite movies, Father of the Bride a few weeks ago and I shed more than a few tears. Even though I'm not yet a parent, there is so much emotion that runs through me as a daughter. Naturally, the movie makes me remember my own wedding day and the events leading up to it.
But I also think of my dad and how long before I knew my husband's name, I watched that movie with Dad. It's such a sweet picture of a father-daughter relationship; she grows up and feels ready to move on, yet he stills thinks of her as his little girl. I'm such a sucker for those kind of movies (I just watched Trouble with the Curve last night). My heart loves to feel the tug of knowing the dad cares so much and looks out for his little girl, even when she's all grown up.
And for some reason those movies tell me, I can do this parenthood thing. After all, I had parents and pretty good ones at that! I am not going to read a book that will make me into the parent I'm supposed to be, but the life I've been living for the past 32 years has prepared me to be that parent, that mother. I will make choices based on my own mistakes and things I wished I had. I will make mistakes in mothering. I may not get it right the first or second time, but that's what grace is for.
Grace is my word for 2013. May I learn to be more gracious to others, as well as extend grace to myself. It isn't going to be easy; graciousness doesn't come naturally for me.
Have you chosen a word of the year? If so, feel free to leave your link in the comments so I can check it out.