the doorbell rang

It was about 9:45pm when the doorbell rang.

Being on the late side and not expecting anyone,
Brandon went to the door.
He returned, saying it was a homeless man asking for food.

I was in disbelief thinking what is the world coming to, 
that homeless peoplecome to our door, and so late?

Nonetheless, Brandon went to the kitchen and started gathering food
in a plastic bag. I hadn't been to the grocery store in a week, 

so there was not much to offer uncooked other than

carrots, oranges, whole wheat rolls, cookies and crackers.

We didn't even have any leftovers from dinner.

Anyway, Brandon took the bag out to the man.

I waited inside and prayed [having no idea what to expect]

minutes later, Brandon returned with the bag in hand,

only to tell me the man had looked in the bag 

and said "my kids won't eat that."

I sat there stunned.

I was hanging between insulted that what we offered
was not good enough and thankful the bazaar scene had ended.

All I could think of was the saying "beggars can't be choosers."

The next day, I kept playing the scene over and over 

in my head and finally it hit me:

How often do I ask God for things but refuse to accept what He gives?

I ask for a new home or an opportunity and 

He gives me something other than what [I thought] I wanted.

Often, I don't accept what He gives or give it back all together. 

As unexpected as the situation was, 

[yes, I have thought about the man and his children 

several times even though I never saw him or the kids]

I am grateful for how it made me think.

I already decided this is the year to give and 

even though I may not be able to give to everyone I encounter,

I won't sit here days later and beat myself up for what else 

we could have offered or done.

{photo credits 1 2}