Tuesday, December 14, 2010

just say 'no'

this week has been a series of hard conversations.
i failed; i actually let people down and i had to own up to it.
i hate not following though on something i commit to,
but it's part of relationships and can be necessary. 

there is an art to saying 'no.' while i have yet to master it, i am practicing it.
at times, i need to help others recognize when to say no or step back.
it's hard, not only to practice what i preach, but to admit failure on some level.
i don't consider myself a "people pleaser," 
yet i do not like to feeling of letting a friend or colleague down. 

when considering what needs to go or declining a project or commitment:
be genuine. be honest.
know your limits.
get an outside perspective.
my friend gave me this napkin about two years ago,
i keep it posted on the fridge as a reminder to consciously choose not to over-commit.
i'm not saying it's an easy road, but it can be necessary to reevaluate life.
for me, as a woman who loves her husband of nearly seven months, 
her job, church community and so many other things,
it's necessary for me to have a healthy balance & over the last few months, 
i've seen some unhealthy patterns at work in me.
[yuck]...i want to change it.
doing so will disappoint some people, including myself, 
but making someone else happy or fulfilling an obligation
is not the most important thing. 

for me, it needs to be about doing the things i do well, in order to honor god.
i'm not perfect, but i strive to do all things well. 
may i serve well & give more, making the ways i spend time more important
than the number of commitments i have. 
i too easily get caught up in signing up for more.

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